The Spirit World Part 4: Attacking Bioware – A Help Guide

(This is the final part of a community-driven story – check out Part 1 herecheck out Part 2 herecheck out Part 3 here)

So, you are crawling through a sewer about to attack Bioware.

Yep that about sums up my current situation.

What are you trying to achieve from this help guide?

Honestly I have no idea. You haven’t been much help so far.

Then why did you summon me?

I’m crawling through a sewer, I want someone to talk to.

You summoned me just to talk? Great. Is my help so under-appreciated?

Please, you give the least helpful advice I have ever heard.

Oh, is that what you think? In that case, I’ll be off.

I summoned you, you need to stay untill I’m are done.

No, I only need to stay until you complete what you told me you were trying to achieve. And this time you set no conditions.

In that case, I am trying to free BioWare from the control of EA and the reapers.

What’s Kendra and her gang doing?

They are going to create a distraction in the street so that nobody interrupts me.

What about furry red yoda?

Apparently he is an informant for the underground resistance.

Underground resistance?

Can we focus on me?

Fine, if you are in the sewers, keep an eye out for pipes leading to Bioware.

What do they look like?

How should I know? You are in a sewer, they don’t exactly label them for your convenience.

Damn it, this feels like where I should move up. I’m cutting a hole with the lightsaber.

Make sure the hole you cut doesn’t fall on you.

It’s cut, I don’t think anyone above saw.

What does it look like?

I think it’s a car park.

Pull yourself up, but try and remain undetected.

I can’t even see anyone in the car park.

It would be wise to go quietly.

I thought my main problem would be smell.

Oh right. In that case I would recommend you just run for it.

And this time I’m taking the elevator.

Again, I’m going to recommend against it.

And what was your excellent logic for that again?

They would be expecting it.

Look, I’m going up there to kick some ass, you can either complain or help me.

Does it seem like I want to help you?

I thought so. Ok, I’m in the elevator. Top floor, same as last time.

Don’t you think it strange that nobody has tried to stop you yet?

Shut up, I need to ready myself.

Ok, two points. First, you have no idea what to ready yourself for and second, now you want me to be quiet, after telling me you only want me here to talk to you…

…Yes…

I’m telling you, those doors open and you are either fucked, or the luckiest person alive.

How lucky do you think I need to be?

The only way you are going to survive is if nobody up here has any idea you are coming and nobody has any weapons.

You think I have that little chance?

Oh no, I think even if that’s exactly what happens, you will still figure out a way of hurting yourself.

Some help you are…

Just tell me when the doors open.

They are opening now.

What’s happening, what do you see?

The floor is entirely deserted apart from someone sitting in a chair on the other side of the room.

Who is it?

I think it’s Stephen Reid.

Told you so.

When? When did you tell me?

Just before.

No you didn’t, the only thing you told me was that I was going to die!

Stop talking to yourself.

No, you stop talking to yourself.

Lame, real lame.

BioWare have fired all their staff who ever fought against EA. I don’t think it was BioWare’s decision, more pressure from EA.

Sucks to be him.

What now?

Now, I’ve been thinking about that. I think the best thing for me would be to join the resistance, help them for a while. You should probably get back to your own life. This world is soon to see war.

But can’t I help?

There is nothing you can do. You can’t fight, you talk to yourself and you smell like a sewer. Your purpose was to keep my lightsaber safe from BioWare so it wouldn’t be destroyed when this day came.

Ask him what happens to BioWare now.

What happens to BioWare now?

Bioware is now but a shadow of its former self. With a decent chunk of the staff joining the resistance, the resistance now knows exactly how they work. There won’t be anything they can do to help EA other than continue to make games.

This concludes “Attack Bioware Via The Spirit World Help Guide”.

Well, here is the lightsaber back.

Thank you.

In order to return to the real world click your heels together three times.

Farewell strange world.

Did everything go as expected?

With the idiot, yes. Everything went mostly as planned.

Is the resistance in place?

Downstairs waiting for you.

You did well guide, I dismiss you.

This concludes the “Joining the EA resistance in the Spirit World, a help guide”.

I said I dismiss you!

An original Ken Clark / TOROZ production

BioWare’s Stephen Reid: Adios

As we reported yesterday, BioWare have announced layoffs within the SWTOR. It’s been widely reported  (here’s a perspective from Austin Texas’ own newspaper), but one extra detail that’s come out is that Senior Community Coordinator Stephen Reid is one of those who has been laid off.

As a non-US site we had a little less contact with Stephen than some, but the contacts we did have were very productive and informative – our podcast discussion with him was wide-ranging and delivered a lot of great information including the acknowledgement of an LFG being in development.

All that said, he was (unfairly) a lightning rod for discontent throughout the lead-up to launch and in the weeks afterwards – and he appeared to take it all with good grace.

As we said yesterday, these things are never pleasant, but we wish Stephen the best in whatever comes next, we will miss trawling the Rockjaw Twitter account for snippets of info. And we’re also confident he’ll find the pic on this post appropriate!

As far as conjecture on what this means more widely – we still hold to the belief it’s a normal post-launch shakeout, as unpleasant as it is for those involved. There’s also some reportage that development may spread out to multiple studios:

With layoffs in the Austin team, it appears continued development on The Old Republic will involve multiple studios. In a comment to Shacknews, an EA representative told us that “BioWare Austin remains a large and important part of BioWare and EA, working with other studios around the world to continue to deliver a high-quality service and exciting new content for Star Wars: The Old Republic.”

It’s over to you: what say you on these recent developments?

The Spirit World Part 2: Escaping Bioware – A Help Guide.

(This is Part 2 of an ongoing community-driven story – check out Part 1 here)

So, you are trapped in a bathroom at Bioware HQ and there is a crocodile man wielding a lightsaber about to storm in and capture you.

Yep, that sums up my current situation.

What are you trying to achieve from this help guide?

I’m trying to stay alive.

Which bathroom are you in?

I’m not sure, it was a bit of a blur as I was running.

You have no idea whether you are in the male or female bathroom?

Well… there were a few women in here when I entered, but they left… immediately.

I think its safe to assume that this is the female bathroom.

Why does any of this matter?

It could become relevant at a later date.

The crocodile man sounds like he can’t open a door.

He is a crocodile man with a lightsaber. I don’t think the door is going to be much of a problem.

Oh… there goes that plan.

What plan? You had no plan, that’s why you summoned me.

Well you haven’t been much help have you?

Hey, I’ve kept you alive.

We are stuck in a bathroom with a crocodile man about to break the door down. I’m not going to be alive for much longer at this rate. And we still don’t have a plan.

Hey, your about to have your soul ripped from your body and you are choosing to argue with me instead of letting me think?

Ok, I’m sorry. Now, how do I escape?

Is there a window?

No.

Ok, I am out of ideas.

What, that was your big idea – a window?

It would have worked.

Oh shit.

What, what’s happening…?

The crocodile man has crashed through the door.

Back yourself into a corner. It may give you a couple more seconds…

Hello?

(Some time later)

Urgh, my head.

What happened, did you faint?

Get up.

Wha, who are you?

My name is Stephen Reid.

Are you injured, can you run?

I’m fine.

Good, I would not have been pleased if my companion had hurt you.

Companion?

Yes, Qyzen Fess as I like to call him.

Run!

I need to give you information so that you can do this properly next time… Then, I shall allow you to escape.

I don’t think he can hear me. Act like you can’t hear me.

That’s what I’ve been doing.

But you don’t know all the facts and therefore have just been running around like a mad man talking to yourself.

Well, what is this information.

Bioware is owned by another company.

EA?

Everybody knows EA controls Bioware.

But not just EA. EA is controlled by an entity much older than this planet. They call themselves the Reapers.

You mean from Mass Effect?

We were trying to warn humanity with Mass Effect.

Wait up. The Reapers are real?

I have said all I can. Now you must leave. There is an escape pod behind you. Also, you are going to need this.

As soon as you can, RUN. Also what did he give you.

He gave me the lightsaber.

Cool, let me know when you are in the escape pod.

I’m in, how does this work.

Press the big red button, it should take you to Bioware and remember, you mus—

What happened, why cant we hear him?

The door closed.

Why would the door closing prevent you from being able to hear him.

Whoa, we are in space. And I think Stephen Reid was on a space station.

You’re kidding. You actually got to go to the EA space station.

EA have a space station?

Yea, its more like an orbital station though.

Is there a difference?

As far as you care, no. Anyway what colour is the lightsaber.

I’m not going to activate it untill we are on the ground.

Why? I’m curious.

I would rather not punch a hole in this small escape pod.

Good point. What’s happening in the pod?

There is a flashing light that says warning on it.

 

This concludes the “Escape From Bioware HQ Via The Spirit World Help Guide”

Wait, you cant leave me like this, what do I do?

For more help guides visit…

What, I need help now!

I would suggest the “Planning An Attack on BioWare HQ Via The Spirit World Help Guide”. However, in the meantime I would recommend… Try and land the pod.

====================

Community involvement:

Option 1) Allow the pod to try and land itself

Option 2) Try and land the pod yourself

====================

 

Community Involvement 2: what colour should the lightsaber be?

Option 1) Blue

Option 2) Red

Option 3) Other

 

Voting will close a week after release. Post your vote in comments!

 

 

For sneak peaks at the next part join SWTOR Gamers of Oceania

An original Ken Clark / TOROZ production

Flash Point 26: Stephen Reid Q&A Special Edition

This episode we have BioWare’s Senior Community Coordinator, Stephen Reid, jump into the Oceanic bear pit to field questions from the local community.

A wide range of issues were covered and we’re confident Stephen escaped the colonies with his dignity intact – a big thanks to him for taking the time! Do have a listen as there’s some really interesting info in there, including some hard facts on Oceanic servers and a hell of a lot more. We’ll have a summary transcript up this afternoon as well (updated: here it is)

There is a little background noise here and there sorry, but I’ve removed as much of it as possible.

Points of discussion:
– Q&A session with Stephen Reid covering a big range of issues including a confirmation of whether Oceanic servers will be physically located down here
– A brief post Q&A discussion with the TOROZ crew

Listen via iTunes or right here:

Upcoming: Stephen Reid Q&A on TOROZ

We’re very pleased to announce that we’ll be recording an interview with BioWare’s Senior Community Manager, Stephen Reid, on Episode 26 of our Flash Point podcast. We’ll be recording on the 11th February, but in the lead up we’d love YOUR questions for Stephen Reid on anything SWTOR-related.

How to have your question asked

BioWare haven’t placed any rules on what can be asked, but I do know they won’t be able to talk about the Oceanic launch as details aren’t finalised as yet. Aside from that, the sky’s the limit. So here’s what to do to be on with a chance to get your question asked:

1. Ask something that a lot of your fellow players may be interested in.

2. Ask something that hasn’t been answered 33 times before.

3. Ask it constructively – if you’ve got a gripe that you think a lot of people have, then put it forward but do it nicely. We of course reserve the right to not ask anything that’s obvious trolling, contains inappropriate language or defamatory comments.

4. Post your question in comments on this post only, INCLUDING the name you’d like attributed to you when we ask the question of Stephen. A rough location (state, territory or Island in Oz / NZ would be fine if you don’t want to get more specific). And yes we will ask questions from outside the Oceanic area if they’re good ones.

5. We ideally need your questions by midnight Monday 6th February AEDT / 9PM AWST / 2am Tuesday the 7th NZDT, as we’ll be shooting of some of the more in-depth questions to BioWare so they can ask the devs to clarify anything needed prior to the podcast.

6. That’s it!

Obviously we can’t ask every question but we’ll put forward as many as possible. We’ll aggregate common questions to save time as well. The podcast will be up for listening by midday on the 11th February AEDT, around 90 minutes after the podcast is recorded. Later that day there’ll also be a transcript available for dissection.

So get posting in comments!

[photo courtesy of Tor Wars]